Right Now I Trust Myself
So I have all these thoughts about why now? Why now am I suddenly able to do this – lose this weight? You see I have always had a weight issue, at least ever since puberty. I think I might have been born with it, intergenerational one might say. Passed down from grandmother to mother to me — in the blood. But then I am more than my blood, more than those that have come before me, more than the other lives I might have lived if I even believe in that. But what I do believe in right now, is ME – RIGHT NOW. I have made my way into the moment, into this moment right now with you. I wake up everyday filled with gratitude, graciousness, acceptance, ease, understanding, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and the truest unconditional love I have ever felt. First towards myself and then all those around me. RIGHT NOW… I TRUST MYSELF (how sweet is that).
I Used To
I used to walk to my mini van and think of what car I would buy next. Now I glide to my mini van and enjoy the comfort of a family vehicle that is perfect for RIGHT NOW, I just need to get a 60 Gallon air compressor, but that’s a different topic.
I used to wish something more for my job; more money, more business, more clients, more t-shirts with our logo, more parties, more success. Now I enjoy waking up Monday – Thursday at 4:50am with the LBBC ‘Breaking Dawn Crew’. I feel sincere joy when I see their faces and we bring in the morning sweating, laughing, and seeing each other for who we are – all achieving health together. Having that same awesome common goal of feeling good in our bodies. We connect, we care, we smile and we look each other in the eyes. Everyday I leave fulfilled. I know I am exactly where I want to be RIGHT NOW.
I used to want to work out in a fancy gym with bells and whistles and views of the ocean. Now I look forward to picking up my friend on the way to drop off my kids. I hear them greet her as she gets in the van, “Good morning Shay, We miss you Shay, We love you Shay” as the Moana or Frozen song blares in the background. The mini van carrying the perfect passengers enjoying the ride. We drop off the kiddos, make it to the bluff over looking the ocean with a panoramic view filling up our eyes. Weights, bands, and a towel – the true LBBC way – nothing more needed RIGHT NOW.
I used to wish I was 20 pounds lighter. If I fit in those jeans I would be happier, better, more myself. I used to count the days down till the cleanse would end and I would be skinnier. Now, I love how I am eating. I have detoxed the toxins and addictions. No caffeine, no sugar, no alcohol, no animal foods, just clean whole fruits, veggies, legumes, beans, nuts and seeds. I am thinking clear, living consciously and I am enjoying every second of it. I have no stop date. I am listening to myself, checking in, honoring my mind, body and spirit. I am present. I am feeling thankful for my body right now exactly the way it is in this moment – RIGHT NOW.
So, I have concluded I am in a different space inside. I am not waiting to be happy when I get the next best car, get more clients, or achieve the body weight I have always wished. I am ascending into my loving and living my ‘RIGHT NOW’. I am being present and in the moment – in my laughter, in my truth, in my authenticity.
I am living my potential and sharing it. Loving myself and all those around me. I am connecting to RIGHT NOW, and right now I am GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE. The weight-loss is a byproduct of my gratitude. Changing from the INSIDE OUT.
Here is what my WEIGHT LOSS numbers look like week by week. Loving myself every step of the way!
week 1: -8 lbs
week 2: -1 lb
week 3: -2lbs
week 4: -1 lb
week 5: -3.5lbs
week 6: -2.5lbs
TOTAL 18 POUNDS OF GRATITUDE RELEASED FROM MY BODY AND COUNTING…to be continued.
If you would like to join me for a workout or meditation (323)304-3123 or click on
For more information on Yve Hart’s The 40 Day Green Cleanse click here
I read a translated version of this article before. It gave an interesting insight to “the Scandinavian way” of fitness and well-being. Recommended!.