Before you accept negotiations with yourself ask,
“If I were letting down my friend the way I am letting myself down, would I be so apt to do so?
We set goals for ourselves, make commitments to do more, be better, and live a more purposeful existence, yet we can easily get derailed by our negotiations and the pull of our old story.
We wouldn’t break a promise to a friend as easily as we break a commitment to ourselves.
We wouldn’t stand them up when we said we’ll be there.
We wouldn’t talk to them as negatively as we talk to ourselves.
• skipping workouts
• telling ourselves we’re not good enough or don’t really deserve it
• showing up late
What is your reason?
Are we so conditioned to put others needs before our own that we don’t value taking care of ourselves? Is it representative of a lack? Do we lack respect, love or self worth?
Are we fulfiling our own expectations and prophecies of failure?
Any of these could be true.
Sometimes we’re triggered and we’re pulled right back into the actions thoughts and feelings of that old story. Our jobs, kids, tempting foods, injuries, growing relationships… any one of these can send us into the actions we fight so hard to conquer – back into ‘reasonable’ actions and emotions.
Adversity is our opportunity to show our strength.
So what can we do at these moments of opportunity?
Take a moment.
When you realize you are getting pulled back, going 0-60mph in that instant, you can stop. Stop engaging, let yourself off the hook, and start breathing.
Take yourself out of the situation. Go to a different space, even a different room if you need to. This reaction inside of you is not you. It is a thought, a feeling, a physical response perhaps, but it is not who you are at your core.
Once we realize that thoughts and emotions are separate from our being, we can observe them as they pass. There they go… thank these reminders of how you managed to survive, how you coped with whatever life had for you when you were young. Being an observer, being aware of what is happening, means that you can eventually see it coming. Eventually, these triggers will be avoided. Like a golf ball headed for your face, eventually you will learn that you not only see it coming, you can choose to get out of the way.
Instead of negotiating with yourself, make the choice.
Choose the new story – the one that appreciates, respects, loves, believes, keeps promises, and plans a way to make things happen for yourself.
Set yourself up for success, love your body and be good to it.
Not just when you get to your goal, but right now.
Treat it well with things that serve its purpose – exercise, nutritious foods and positive energy.